I recently had the pleasure, along with Highway John, to interview Laura Prepon. She plays Chelsea Handler alongside Chelsea Handler, who plays her own sister, in NBC's "Are You There, Chelsea?" I know! Right? Laura is probably better known for playing Donna in "That 70s Show". At the end of the interview I mistakenly call her Donna. She was nice about it - saying it happened all the time - but I was embarrassed. But you know what? I kept this nugget in the interview which you'll soon be able to hear and access. It was funny and it shows that I'm human too, but that's not the point of this blog. The point being: telephone interviews are hard to do. Especially when it's a beautiful celebrity on the other end.
We've gotten to talk to a lot of famous (Eric Idle, John Corbett, Stephen Stills) and infamous (Elvira, Eater X, Donna Simpson (World's Fattest Adult Entertainer)) people and it's kind of awkward because in most cases, we've never met these folks. I actually prefer to tape these interviews rather than put them on the air live as it happens. The reason being - it sounds better. You don't hear us talking all over each other and you don't hear the awkward pauses from bad phone delays. We're all professionals here, but we don't have the privilege of looking each other in the eyes and reading body language like they do on TV. But we know that those TV people have had their moments too, don't we?
Trust me in that I'm keeping it real. I just take out the difficult stuff that has nothing to do with the interview or the celeb that we're talking to. Just ask Donna...I mean Laura!
A Major victory for gay rights advocates as a Federal Appeals Court in San Francisco ruled that California's ban on same-sex marriages (Proposition 8) was unconstitutional! A big story, right? So this morning we opened up the phones, the texts and our Big Greasy Facebook page on whether or not you think gay marriage should be legalized. It was a humdinger of a show, featuring listeners on both sides of the issue, but I noticed that those who were against it sited the bible as a reason and a point of reference on their decision. Now, I'm in no way a biblical scholar, so I'm not going argue about what's actually in the bible and what's not, but just remember that the bible was written by humans a very long time ago. And humans tend to evolve - like it or not.
Personally, I have no problem with gay people. As long as two people fall in love (or lust) there's really no stopping them. People are people. We're all different, yet we all belong to the human race. And for this race to survive we need to stop judging/fighting/hating/killing people we don't understand. Hell, I still don't understand women, but I married one!
As far as religion? I'm obviously not a religious person. I have no problem with people of faith as long as they don't attempt to save me. I've already been saved - just not in a religious sense. You see, I believe in God. To me, God is the spiritual string of conciousness that holds all beings together. God is what created this big beautiful universe - not the hatred, vengence and wars. We did that. I'm not proud of that, but I believe God smiles upon me at the little bit of peace I create in my own world. I believe God is in each and every one of us. I also believe that if you do a little soul searching you'll find God as well, but I'm not trying to change you. You'll do that yourself. You can't help it. You're human and you'll evolve on your own.
I'm not a fan of the Giants nor the Patriots, but it's the final NFL game of the season, for crying out loud! And the Super Bowl is not only a big deal, but another reason to par-tay! And what a game it was, with the Giants winning their 4th Super bowl 21-17 over the New England Patriots. the Giant's, Eli Manning exhibited laser-like precision and his receivers caught almost everything he threw at them. The Patriot's QB, Tom Brady? Well, like Gisele Bundchen said, "My husband cannot (bleeping) throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can't believe they dropped the ball so many times!" Never the less, both teams looked as if they belonged at Super Bowl 46.
Back to the show! Them country 'n western folk sang an honest rendition of America the Beautiful, Kelly Clarkson's version of The Star Spangled Banner was perfect and Madonna was...well...an older, perfectly kept version of the younger Madonna we grew up with. I thought she did a fine job. Granted, that's not the kind of music I prefer, but Like A Prayer was (and still is) pretty good. The whole production looked very pretty and who doesn't like Cee-Lo?
We did a couple of Big Greasy Polls his morning, and amazingly enough being that we're a rock station, it seems that most of our audience liked the Half Time show.
And finally, I admit I didn't catch all of the commercials because I have a rambunctious 3 year old. The ones I did get to see kind of left me hoping for better. It was kind of the same ole - same ole. A couple were mildly funny, Clint Eastwood was touching and you could tell advertisers threw in a pile of money.
Overall, it was an entertaining night for all! Unless you're a Patriots fan, of course.
I just finished perusing Facebook and noticed that there is a lot of political talk mixed in with the normal innocuous updates. And I'd like to point out that I have friends on either side of whatever debates are stirring these days. It makes for an interesting read, but after 2 and a half years of having an account, I'm not sure what I think of Facebook yet. It's been great for the BGB because it gives people a voice on the radio without actually having to call and talk to us on the air, it's a great way to catch up with old friends we barely remember and it's fun to show off how clever we are or how great our taste in music is, not to mention that it's going public and Mark Zuckerburg is getting richer!
But there's a dark side too, right? I've seen status updates that are a vague cry for help, which confuses me because I'm not sure whether or not I should step in. I've seen others that are just downright disturbing too. And sometimes while reading updates I get depressed about the human race and how we are actually going survive without blowing up the world. Those are the days when I feel it's time to get off of Facebook. But I can't give it up. I feel that if I did, it would be the same as giving up on life. Even though most times it's not real life. I realize that it's human nature to put on the disguise that every thing in your life is peachy, and not everyone wants to air their dirty laundry. I also realize that you are quick to judge others if they do something wrong. There are still a lot of punks on the internet, otherwise known as trolls. These trolls like to lash out at the world because they feel as though they didn't have a fair shot. They're trying to make up for having an un-happy life.
I guess I'll stay on Facebook and keep posting clever jokes and pictures of my happy life. I'll also keep reading your posts, no matter the mood, because I'm a very curious guy. FYI: I never click on your funny cat pictures.
Yesterday, I dusted-off the Fuji (road bike) and went for a 17 mile journey around the North Garden area. These are the thoughts that went through my head as I was huffing and puffing on the back roads of Southern Albemarle:
What's up with other bikers? In the words of the Joker in "The Dark Knight", Why so serious? I wave - you don't wave back? I nod - you don't acknowledge my exsistence? This is why I chose to bike alone, or, on occasion, with a very good friend. Every once in awhile I'll run across a happy-go-lucky cyclist like myself, but that's very rare. Heck, I even smile, nod and or wave at motorists because I'm having a great time even though my legs are sore and I'm gasping for air.
We live in a very beautiful part of the country with gently rolling hills, idyllic farms with barns full of character and litterers! Why do people still litter? That's so mid to late 20th century. I would much rather live with a car full of trash than in a county full of your disgarded crap. Here's what I've learned from your litter:
1) You have a terrible diet! Stop eating so much take-out! Just by doing that you'll probably lose an easy 10lbs.
2) Your favorite soft drink is Mountain Dew. Cut that out and without breaking a sweat - another 10lbs!
3) Your favorite beer is a toss up between Miller Highlife and Busch. You prefer the 22 or 40 ounce bottle, otherwise - you like cans.
I like beer too, but I save it for after my ride. And it depends on how many calories I burn. You see, I like cycling because it keeps me fit, it's a beautiful way to unwind and think, and I feel like a kid again. Only a much more mature kid who's friendly and respects Mother Earth.
I love my job. In fact, it doesn't really seem like a job to me. It's like an extension of my personality. A creative, artistic outlet. Why else would I get up at 3:30am every day? It's a job (not-a-job) where you show up, but never really know what's going to happen no matter how much (or little) you have planned. I get to be on the radio, play great music, give out relevant information and provide a running sarcastic, irreverent, curious, whimsical, mocking commentary on not just the lives of famous people, but the infamous too. And I haven't forgotten you - the listener, Facebooker, texter, caller and yes - occasional complainer.
Every once in awhile we get an email, text, Facebook post, smoke signal or call from somebody who doesn't like what we're doing. After many years in this biz, I've realized that not everyone is going to like me. In fact, that would be weird. Too much for any person to handle. Imagine; all light and no darkness. You really wouldn't appreciate the light as much. Think about this too: for every 3 million people who like Jimmy Fallon, there's another 3 million who would like to see him burn in a fire. For every 100 million people who love hot weather, there's another 100 million who prefer the cold. For every 200 million people who like having dogs as pets...alright you get my point, right?
So, why do I bring this up? I'm still curious as to what would possess a person to make an angry statement at somebody they don't really know? What's really going on with that complainer? I myself have never been tempted to send off an angry letter or dare call someone to tell them, "You suck!" or "Eat Shit!" and my favorite, "Shut up and play more music!" Again, it's rare when we get correspondence of this nature, but still, after 26 years in radio, I find it quite amusing.
Last week, one of my Facebook friends posted about all of the wonderful things former Penn State football coach, Joe Paterno has done in his lifetime and how he's helped so many people. So, I commented, "What about those abused kids?" He deleted that comment.
Joe Paterno passed away at the age of 85 from lung cancer. You've heard of him, right? He was the head coach of Penn State's football team from 1966 until he got fired in 2011 for allegedly failing to do enough about (then) assistant coach, Jerry Sanusky's alleged sexual assaults on young boys.
Now, I can be forgiving of a lot of indescretions. I've made my fair share of bad choices, but it's hard for me to forgive someone who could've done more to stop the horrors of rape. Joe Paterno may have died at the age of 85, but those boys died inside a long time ago. I'm not blaming coach Paterno for what Jerry Sandusky allegedly did, but I am blaming Joe for not stepping in and maybe even calling the police. If something that terrible were happening to one of my kids and I happened to walk by? Well, lets just say the assaulter wouldn't be walking anymore, or worse.
So, go ahead and mourn the loss of a long-time college football coach, but can you mourn for the victims too?
GO TEAM! by Max Hoecker, posted Jan 17 2012 11:48AM
The cool thing about the watching the NFL is the drama, back stories and the game itself. What sucks is when your team loses. But lets take a look at those last two words in the previous sentence; "Your team". It's not really "Your team". If you're a Cowboys fan and you proclaim them "Your team", do you think Jerry Jones cares? Do you really have any control on the outcome of the game? Or whether or not they win or lose? No. But that's what NFL teams would like you to believe so that you'll go out and buy NFL merchandise or blow your life-savings on some tickets to an actual game. Have you noticed how much it costs to get a beer?
Do you find yourself down and out whenever "Your team" loses? Seriously, there's a lot more to get bummed about, but it's usually stuff you can control. And some would say, "Yeah, but it's great when my team wins!" Sure but "Your team" is not going to win every game. They'll blow a few that they should've won and sometimes look like a bunch of hack-replacement players. therefore, causing you to be a "grumpy-pants" at least until Thursday.
My suggestion fro those of you who aren't 49ers, Giants, Ravens or Patriots fans is to do what I do: Break up with your team. I was once a hardcore Colts fan. I was a hardcore Dolphins fan. I was even a softcore Redskins fan. Then I realized that these teams (most of the time) would just make Monday mornings much more painful. You see, NFL football is so much more fun when you just watch it for the fun of it. It's not that I have a fragile heart that can't possibly withstand any more breaking, I just don't have a heart for a group of men (younger than me) who wouldn't know me from the guy who changes the oil on their (fleet of) cars.
So, go ahead and break-up with "Your team". You don't even have to call them, stop by their house or text them. They won't care. They won't even notice when you give yourT.J. Houshmandzadehjersey away!
t's all over the news, over by the water coolers and on the inter-web. U.S. Marines urinating on the corpses of Taliban soldiers! Here is the raw footage. You may have to sign-in, but don't worry you can't see any man-meat. And apparently, Marines aren't pee-shy.
All of the news outlets are reporting that people are outraged and discusted by this act, but most of our listeners on the BGB seem to think the Afgani soldiers got what they deserve. Remember 9/11? And some of our listeners think that it may be shameful, but they (the listener) seem okay with maybe just turning away and moving on.
Maybe we're just throwing gasoline on the fire that burns in the Taliban's heart (if they have one)? Or maybe we need to set a better example? Either way we can't overlook the fact that the Marines killed them first! I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to be peed on while alive. Even though it's happened to me before. Remember I have a 3 year old son, but he only got me once. My wife? Maybe 3 times. And I know urine is 99% water, but it's still gross, alright? For the record - I've never been pooped on.
Anyway, I got off track, if anyone wants to urinate on my dead body - go ahead. I won't be in there, therefore, I won't be insulted.
Here's hoping our kids won't have to endure any more wars.
Tattoo? by Max Hoecker, posted Jan 11 2012 10:55AM
There's been a lot of discussion around this here "Radio Ranch" about the newly released single called "Tattoo" by by the newly reunited (Dave-era) Van Halen and it ain't all pretty. The highly anticipated release made us all as giddy as Lindsey Lohan at an open bar. It seems, from what I've been reading, that they put a lot of time and care into their comeback too. So, needless to say, we were chomping at the bit to hear "Tattoo".
Cue to Tuesday morning around 10am. Highway, Luke, Perry and I are in Perry's office. Perry plays "Tattoo" from his laptop.
Luke: Really?
Highway: Yeah...
Perry: Well, people are gonna wanna hear it...
Max: Eddie's guitar solo is very well done.
You be the judge. And after hearing it - be assured that at least Kool and the Gang are still together.
Costumes are a huge part of the Halloween celebration, but did you ever consider the candy? Here's a list of the most disgusting candy out there and where to get them...
Ten disgusting types of Halloween candy you can buy: 10. Scorpion Suckers. (candywarehouse.com)
9. Toxic Waste. (candywarehouse.com)
8. Skeleton PopsCandy. (stupid.com)
7. Eyes of Terror Gumballs. (candy-crate.stores.yahoo.net/rabloeyofteb1.html)
6. Gummy Snakes. (stupid.com)
5. Lick Your Wounds Candy Scabs. Shaped like a Band-Aid, and really sticks to your arm. (candywarehouse.com)
4. Cockroach Bites. Looks just like real cockroaches. (candywarehouse.com)
3. Dripping Boogers. You just strap on the plastic nose and the liquid candy drips out of the nostrils onto your tongue. (candywarehouse.com)
2. Ear Wax Candy. Comes with a custom q-tip type stick to eat it with. (candywarehouse.com)
1. Chocka Ca-Ca. Chocka Ca-Ca is a fudge candy that comes wrapped in a diaper, and is even shaped like liquid piled on top of liquid. It's like eating poop right out of a diaper. (stupid.com)
I was just reading about how a Georgia town has collected almost $4000.00 in fines from people wearing baggy pants. That's right, THEY'VE OUTLAWED BAGGY PANTS! Really? Basically, they're just frowning upon bad fashion taste, and as much as we can agree on what's considered a fashion Faux pas, should we really fine people for it? Do I smell a hint of Communism here?
BTW: Why couldn't this have happened back when I was a kid? They could've outlawed Leisure suits, denim dresses, rat tails and mullets!
With many brains focused on the 10th anniversary of the 9-11 terrorist attacks on our soil. Youâre hearing a lot of talk about patriotism. Personally I think patriotism is whatâs tearing this country apart because with all the patriots living here we all have different interpretations on what it actually means..
When I think of America, I think of freedom. Back in 2001 terrorists may have taken down some buildings and many lives, but they havenât taken our freedom. We have access to many tools to help us become whoever we want to be, explore any part of our country that we want and dream without borders. The events on 9-11 were devastating, but also a reminder that life is fleeting. If we each dedicate our time to making the most of our lives, while also doing the right thing (and trust me you know when youâre doing something wrong) not only will all of our lives in America be better, but so will the lives of everyone on this planet. If we support each other as much as we support our troops and those whoâve died needlessly, we could, quite possibly, end terrorism.
I got a nice snapshot of our active 3WV listeners this morning when they were sharing where they were and what they were doing when the earthquake struck. Just go to http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Big-Greasy-Breakfast/91354732080Â and read the comments. Good stuff!
I'm glad no one was hurt. In fact, I thought it was pretty cool to experience such a massive thing!
My son, Cletus, and I were at the North Garden Post Office when it happened. At first, I thought someone ran into the building. Then the post master said, "I think it's an earthquake. Ya'll stay put."
Cletus asked, "What's that, daddy?"
I told him, "It's an earthquake. Pretty cool, huh?" And I just stood there holding his hand and grinned. Smiled at the wonder of it all for 35 seconds, or so.
Then what did I do when I got home? Turn on the TV? The radio? No. I logged on to Facebook to see how many others felt it, and read the posts form CBS 19 and NBC 29 and our sister station WINA.
As I sit here in the production studio at the "Radio Ranch" dubbing a freshly produced commercial for all to hear, I can't help but wonder if you pay any attention (at all) to the music that's behind the words. We, who put these commercials together, do our best to find a music track (licensed only to our radio group, BTW) which fits the mood of the retailer or what the client is trying to convey. The only feedback we ever get is whether or not the client likes the commercial. But what about the music? We have a whole catalogue of it done by anonymous musicians and writers who get paid to go to some anonymous studio to lay down a couple of tracks. Sounds like a thankless job, but some of the tracks they come up with are brilliant! So here's my shout out to the fine artists at Essential Radio and Megatrax. Great work, gurus of the :10, :30 and :60 second track!
I can still hum some of the memorable, anonymous tunes I've heard throughout my years of studying radio. Or is it just me? Am I that much of a geek? Are there other musically inclined people out there in "Listener Land" who notice these (what we in the biz call) beds? You can comment with something like, "I like the music that's under :30 second commercial for the Keystone Light Camero thingy." BTW: one of my personal faves!
I know it's supposed to be "cherries", but I much prefer a bowl of piping-hot steamed clams in front of me this time of year.
So, life is good for me. The show is going along well, the family is great and I love summer. Seems there are a lot of people who like to complain about the heat, but Highway just did a story about how July of 2011 was the 8th hottest July in recent years. Even if it were the hottest you wouldn't hear me moan and groan about it. I attempt to savor every sweltering day. And you should too. 94% of people in the United states have air conditioning. So, it's easy to cool off. And there's always your favorite swimming spot too and most are free!
If you're one of the complaining, sweaty sorts - there's always fall, "Oh, gawd! What about these stoopid leaves I got rake?" Winter, "It's s-s-s-s-so c-c-c-cold!" And Spring, "Ah-ah-ah-ah-CHOO! Damn this POLLEN!"
Hey, you can always move, but I wouldn't want to lose a listener because of the weather...
Last week the Morning family went on vacation. We drove up to Baltimore to stay at an Inner Harbor hotel so we could take in an Orioles game and visit the aquarium. Then we flew out of BWI to Buffalo, NY to visit my wife's dad and step-mom. It was a swell trip!
My wife, Betty Sue, works real hard and makes a lot of money selling Amway products along the Eastern seaboard. My son, Cletus, is an adorable 2 and a half year old who's prone to car-sickness. Me? Well, lets just say I have the patience of a monk. So, my wife cashes in some hotel points and air miles for our summer vacation which includes all that you have read from above.
Needless to say, I was a little nervous about this adventure, but Cletus was a trooper. The only time he ever gets cranky is when he's tired, but don't we all. He very much enjoyed the whole experience of flying, however, my wife barfed all over me in the plane. Cletus thought that was hilarious, the flight attendants didn't and cut off her supply of Wild Turkey for the rest of the flight. Luckily it was only an hour.
I'm sure you've been asked, "Hey, how was your weekend?" I don't know what your answer will be other than, "Fine." But I'm sure you could elaborate if we were talking face to face. I would probably answer, "Fine" as well. I know there was a lot going on in this area. The only time I came into C-ville was Saturday morning for my Bikram Yoga class, but when I was leaving I noticed a shit-load of people at the City Market. But it didn't make me wish I were spending time in this beautiful city on a beautiful Saturday.
No, sometimes it's nice just to spend a weekend at home doing the little things like mowing the grass, weed whacking, and fixing a chainsaw. Those "little things" add up to the big picture called domestic bliss. These weren't part of some honey-do list either! My wife was actually encouraging me to do something fun, but all I could think of was how tall the grass was getting and what creatures I was going to be dodging while weed whacking around the mess we call the pond. What's wrong with me?
Now that all of that is done, I can have some fun this week! Here on the air, at home in the pool with my son and with whatever life decides to show me.
It's hard to believe that we lost another great musician! Andrew Gold, Gil Scott-Heron and now Clarence Clemons. Just when things seemed to be improving for "The Big Man" after suffering a stroke, he moved on at 69.Â
I played "Jungleland", "Born to Run" and "Thunder Road" this morning in his honor because I felt the loss. Clemons was the guy who made it cool to play sax in a rock band again. Plus he was the perfect foil for Bruce Springsteen on stage. How can you ever forget Bruce cracking up during "Santa Clause is Coming to Town" because Clarence is yelling "Ho-Ho-Ho" into his sax mic.
In "Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out" Bruce gives him a shout-out, "The big man joined the band" And don't forget those big, fat, tasty solos. Not only in the songs listed above, but numerous others.
Yesterday, I even YouTubed Clarence and Jackson Browne doing "You're a Friend of Mine". Oh, and I have to admit I did the same with Lady Gaga's song where he played an awesome solo. I don't even know the name of the song, but I can tell you it would be totally forgettable without Clarence Clemons.
R.I.P., Clarence. I'm glad I got to see you play a couple of times and I hope you have fun playing with all the rest of those great musicians in "Rock-n-Roll Heaven".
So, what's it like being 49? I don't know. Ask a 49 year old.
Seriously, I feel like I'm 29. What's weird is back when I really was 29 I felt like I was...well...29? Okay, so my memory is a little hazy, but I feel much better now than I did back in the day. I may have blown more than my fair share of brain cells by acting like a rock star, and it took a lot of years for me to grow up, but I finally came through without suffering serious consequences. I guess It hit me a few years ago that I ought to take caring about myself seriously. And I plan on cruising into 50 as smoothly as Mark Knopfler works a stratocaster.
No, it wasn't THAT kind of weekend. But what a day Saturday! As part of the Phat Bottom Riders, I rode in the MS Tour De Vine. Now, I like cycling, but haven't had the chance to ride much this year. In fact, I only rode once prior to Saturday's event. And it showed. Oh, I started out with the enthusiasm of a 21 year old in a gentleman's club, but after about 30 miles in I started getting  jelly-legs and cramps. Oh, and my butt and nuts? Sorry, there's no colorful euphisms for that.
I've been riding this event for the past 5 years or so, and have properly trained and logged many miles. This year it just happened to sneak up me. I won't let that happen to me next year. That's for sure.
Â
Needless to say, I did almost my whole show standing up.
You know you wanna click on our podcasts just to hear the interview with Donna Simpson. She actually wants to be fat, not just for the notoriety, but because there are guys out there who will pay to be squashed by her. And it sounds like she's enjoying a Happy Meal while talking to us. Sad isn't it? But it's like Jay James said on 3WV Ask a Brother - "Brothers are taught that every woman is beautiful in their own way..." I suppose I found her beauty in her humility?
Speaking of podcasts, I thought Adam Carolla was hilarious! Check it out if you gots time.
On a personal note, I'm glad this Rapture thing is over with. Sure, it was a lot of fun on the air last week, but I got tired of explaining to people the difference between the Rapture and the End of the World. And I'm not even religious! Got tired of editing all the news stories that mixed them up too. I also found it disturbing that there were people who believed Harold Camping's nonsense. Besides, isn't there a statement in the Bible that warns of false Prophets? Just sayin'.
What, he can do an interview with Time Magazine, but he can't talk to ME for 5 minutes? Here's an interview that I was somewhat frightened, but very excited to do, but Howard Wasdin keeps cancelling. I'm not sure why. It's not like I'm __________ (insert your own major market popular air personality here). Anyhoo, we are booked this week with Adam Corolla and maybe the lady who's looking to become the World's Largest Woman! Keep your fingers crossed...
Highway John once told me it only takes 5 minutes to blog. Guess what, Highway! It takes me 5 MONTHS!
Actually, I lost my password months ago. And then...well...I got lazy. Besides the suits were breathing down my neck to start doing this again. So, lets face it - I'm blogging out of fear!
Also, I've decided, along with little glimpses into my personal life, I'll be blogging about some of the stuff that goes on here behind the scenes. I've always been a back story kind-of-guy. So, that's what you'll be reading starting Monday.
Now, if I can only find out how to change that terrible picture of me dressed as Hunter S. Thompson...
